I am less than I expected to be

by algae bloom

supported by
jack
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jack algae bloom is probably the best skramz band around right now and they do not get nearly as much love as they deserve. Favorite track: Nothing Has Changed In Years.
A.T.L
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A.T.L First listened to Algae Bloom on the Foxtails split and while I enjoyed it, this album is on a whole other level. Beautiful. Favorite track: Nothing Has Changed In Years.
non-catalytic
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non-catalytic guys you are really growing over the years, every record has something new without losing your original soul. thanks a lot
karl26
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karl26 Absolutely love this album, it's so raw and so emotional. Big ups guys Favorite track: Club Insomnia.
verkleij
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verkleij Does it get any better than this? Favorite track: Life In Bluster.
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1.
So these are wandering hours again. I've come to with a lead chest and head dregs, washed up and hollowing out another day. Then catch a thought and pull lungs taught on the wind; snag a shoestring heart hanging by a thread. Breathe in and reel as if the rotary was snatched up in a gale. Hot air smelts and keens with a view to building internal frameworks; monuments of a future self. For the longest I've had the sun climbing my throat and left the room without saying a word.
2.
Take an hour to lay out a spread of childhood photos; map out a series of lives across your floorboards. There are so many ways to be happy. Radiate across faces aglow in candlelight. You've not been working hard on your epitaph. Instead you take a hand to each image ripping out the artist, the traveller, the glimpse and flicker of a love before it's shadow fixed to your frame. Lifting them from your past, pulling them from latency. Holding them as if they came to be. Well they didn't, there is only you and another hour drifting by.
3.
Thoughts come hacking in night plagues. It's 2am and there will never be enough. Bodies choke the sea and night sky bulges at its seams, flush with prayers and grief. Energy is finite, children are missing, I need to sleep. There is another day on the horizon, I need to sleep. A friend begins to lose their grip as another message goes unread. Lights are left on and moths are burning in their thousands. I am sorry for everything.
4.
Wait to wake again with strength, aimless. These ten bodies strewn to pieces amidst feelings; I can be something more. How long waiting for purpose, assurance of taking paths with conviction. Poise between actions. Any apphorisms, vaguely felt intention. Some day it will happen, another week longing for more.
5.
Not now, there's somewhere that I need to be. I'm sorry but I need to leave. I have to gather strength to move my heart to feel when you speak. I should have called. The world's been at your back, I should have reached out but I just waited for weeks. It was so easy. I've been busy, I've been stacking up excuses in lieu of time spent or words meant or eyes that can still hold your gaze in the silence. I've been trying to sync our breathing in the hope of connection again. The air catches, is this it? I don't know. I'm sorry, there's someone that I used to be.
6.
Take another hour, lift again neat figures bristling in childhood frames. Hold them up to the light, extend limbs. Trace veins back to organs, back to essence. This is not your blood, untethered redness. Hot life in bluster.
7.
Sometimes the bell chimes offbeat and broken harmonies spill forth in defiance of all life previously clockwork and measured for meaning. A thought, unaccounted for, raises it's head and breaks forth and ushers in a new day. Long-sought, weighed and pinned down, I am ready now. I might spend three nights bent double with doubt. I might have to come up for air gasping, arms akimbo, but I am holding my own. Palms outstretched, I'm trying my best.
8.
I could deflect an asteroid three weeks ago; I woke up knowing suffering was not certain, collision courses could be averted and whole orbits undone. My fingertips fizzed with the feeling of it all. I left the house, I was not going to die.
9.
Don't linger here, thoughts are quick to spoil. Don't cling to half meanings pulled wide into soft focus, stretched thin over the bulk of another wasted hour. Today I didn't get any better, tomorrow my heart will falter and months could drop off unbound of all the years hopes they've undone. And still there will fall another open hour, distant but firm in it's instance. When I raise my head the sky glows and the hue, particular, pulls forth a knowing. I will try to move on, holding out, holding on.

about

these songs were written may - september 2018. they form a greater narrative about emotional absenteeism, reconciling a desire for creative purity with the multiplicity of adult life and it's inherent responsibilities, attempting to be proactive in self-improvement, and the struggle to continue on unabated through endless cycles of positive revelations and eventual stagnation.

credits

released May 31, 2019

matt - guitar, vocals
stef - bass, additional vocals
leigh - standing drumkit, lyrics, additional vocals

recorded by bob cooper, november 24th & 25th 2018
mastered by will killingsworth at dead air studios
artwork by braiding

license

all rights reserved

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