I am still scared of living

by algae bloom

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  • 'I am still scared of living' cassette
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Pro-dubbed cassette tape with double-sided lyric insert, plays the same both sides.

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these songs were written september 2014 - january 2015 as an attempt to break a year-long creative stasis and to critically address some personal issues that stemmed from this period of inactivity. they have been instrumental to us in the gradual process of getting better and as such are both an exercise in catharsis and a celebration of themselves.

cassettes released by wolf town diy (uk) and, regrettably, driftwood records (usa)

☆:*´¨`*:.☆{¯`*•.¸,¤°´UPCOMING SHOWS`°¤,¸.•*´¯}☆:*´¨`**:.☆

June 6th - Norwich Arts Centre


released February 15, 2015

matt - guitar, vocals, lyrics (2 songs)
leigh - standing drumkit, lyrics (4 songs)

artwork by braiding ♥
insert by miami sadler
recorded live to tape by conor at old school studios
big thanks to earth studios also for getting us out of the house



all rights reserved
Track Name: Bed Springs
I have found my eyes in the ceiling again, with only all that I've already said left to say. Aware only of the weight of this silence. I thought I was trying; please say you saw me try. Not just a static crackle when my mouth bleeds. I want to feel the pressure of my bed springs, I want the things I used to run from to catch me. Tighten up my limbs until my blood screams like yesterday in the boughs; the sun bathing in the leaves, your feet trailing when we had to leave.
Track Name: I'm Not Strange
Find my thoughts on pavements home. I'm still scared of things, maybe it's not the dark; sometimes it's the days and the minutes spent on my fingers counting the things I could have done to make the change. I like to believe I'm strange wading through this place. I'm every other face, I am the same. I'm not strange, I'm a bore to everyone I've ever met.
Track Name: Ground In My Mouth
There is a hole in the ground by my house where I've buried all the words I don't carry the meaning to keep alive; I've seen them die. It seems like every time I speak I find myself back here, tearing at the ground with my mouth, fistfuls of withered flowers in my hands. I swear I tried to stop them sprouting, miming so loud on either side. When I saw you die I died.
Track Name: Osmosis Jones
To wake is to start the struggle against my most fragile self. The weight of all you ask of me and all of the apathy to getting well; but I want to get well. "I'm not long for this Earth" to get me through the day; I don't want this anymore.
Track Name: My Most Fragile Self
Today I woke with the strength of ten men, and the intention to start it all again. Everything I spoke and felt was meant and though meaning was uncertain, if I keep pushing further I will get there in the end. Today I hit the straight between the bends with dreams still dancing on my teeth and gold dripping from the eaves of my skeleton. I will get there in the end.
Track Name: Codicil (Getting Better)
I'm just starting to figure out what it takes to keep me from wishing the days away. I'm learning to seek reassurance instead of lashing out. I'm learning to trust myself. I am still scared of living but there is something better here and it has never felt so close.